Instruction Manual for Bad Decision Making

Unless you're OK not having all of your fingers if you wake up. 

Proper Wishing Protocol

A lot of people say that if they could have one wish from a genie, they'd wish for a bunch of money. That's stupid though. 

If I had one wish from a genie, I'd wish for a lot of money (maybe two million dollars) and an accompanying W-2, because what good is money if you're in prison for tax fraud? No one would believe that you got all that money from a genie! 

Nope, can't fool this guy...