Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Cube Rat Speaks of Coffee

I've known coffee:
I've known coffee ancient as Monday's meeting and older
      than the barista's five o'clock shadow.

My bladder grows full from the coffee.

I bathed my donut in coffee when dawn was young.
I built a wall of cups on my desk that kept me from sleep.
I gazed upon Mr. Coffee and tore bags of powdery Splenda above it.
I heard the singing of the sea-green Mermaid at two o'clock,
      when my boss stepped out for ten minutes, and I've seen the clear water
      turn muddy brown in the filter paper.

I've known coffee:
Ancient, dusky, coffee.

My bladder grows full from the coffee.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

My Experience in the Job Hunt

As many of you probably know, I quit my former job for various reasons. I've been engaged in the job hunt, and I've noticed a few things. I've determined that the best way to present my findings is a venn diagram. I also love venn diagrams.

Guess who found his compass from 10th grade!*
*this cat right here

Interactive portion: See if you can figure out which occupation falls into which region!

1) Building model airplanes
2) Mud logging (it's a thing, look it up if you have to)
3) Male prostitution
4) Putting papers in file cabinets
5) Observing habits of insects in the wild
6) Driving a truck
7) Making "That's what she said jokes"

1) B
2) ACD
3) ACD
4) AC
5) A
6) AD
7) B

Also, feel free to suggest occupations and what circle you think they might fall into. I'd be particularly interested if you can come up with something that falls into the yet undiscovered BCD region.