Here's how it works: I've compiled a list of things I think to myself multiple times a day. If that thought is something you never think, you score 0 points. If it is something you think maybe once in a while, give yourself 1 point. If you find yourself thinking it once a day, go ahead, take 2 points. And lastly, if you think it several times a day, you get 3 (!) points. Sum your points, then see to which category you belong!
1) I sure hope this doesn't set off the fire alarm.
2) I wonder where (important document I urgently need in the near future) is; I know I had it a minute ago!
3) I wonder what that was. More importantly, I wonder why I ate it.
4) What a reckless and irresponsible idea. I could get seriously hurt. I wish I didn't feel compelled to do it because I thought of it/it could be cool.
5) That was remarkably clumsy, even for me.
6) Man, (person) is going to kill me when he/she finds out that I forgot to do X/bring Y. How can I blame this on someone else?
7) I tried to explain myself like, five times, and you still have no idea what I'm talking about. You probably think I have some learning disability right now. Well, shit. I'm just going to say "Never mind," and hope you forget about this.
8) Oh my God, it's that person. I hope he/she doesn't notice me. Act naturally, avoid eye contact, and whistle nonchalantly. I can't believe I did that. Maybe by now, he/she doesn't recognize me any more? Probably not, given how stupid that thing I did was.
9) Again? Shit, I can't believe I passed third grade and I can't keep my shoelaces tied for longer than 10 minutes. Why don't they make Velcro shoes for people my age?*
*See #7.
10) Screw this. I think I'm just going to go hang out outside.
So what was your point total? Here's how we relate to each other based on that number.
0-3: You will never understand me, and I will never understand you. I wish you well.
4-6: I rely on people like you to feed, clothe and support me. Please don't ever leave me. Also, can I ask you to do something for me?
7-9: You're pretty normal. What's it like?
10-12: You are the cool kid in grade school I always wanted to be. Interesting, funny, with a slightly dangerous and rebellious edge.
13-15: I feel comfortable enough around you that I will complain about anything wrong in my life to you. I'm so sorry that you ended up in this category.
16-18: I really want to be your friend, but don't know how. Want to go get beers? You should drink way more than I do, then retake this test. Maybe your score will go up and I'll know how to relate to you better.
19-21: You are one of those few people who laugh at my jokes.
21-23: We should hang out more often. Please. I need company badly.
24-26: You could easily be my best friend. You should seriously consider applying.
27-30: Please contact me immediately so we can date and be an incredibly dysfunctional couple.
